Communicating With Teenagers

I am sure that you want the best for your child.

After thinking and planning for him/ her, you need to communicate your plan with your child. In fact, a better approach is to communicate your plan with the whole family.

What is a good way to communicate your plan?

Remember that teenagers have a mind of their own. If you don't want to have your plan rejected outright, you need to think a little about how best to communicate it.

Firstly, any communication requires a relationship of good will and trust. You need to demonstrate your love and care for your child. Then you need to demonstrate that you have done some research and observation. Telling your child that you are thinking about him and his future is the best way to demonstrate your love and care for him.

Secondly, you will need to communicate 3 important aspects gently and lovingly:

• His/ her gifts and talents as well as the field that you think is suitable for him/ her in the job market;
• The money that you will be preparing for him/ her;
• The college/ university that will be suitable for him/ her.

Thirdly, please remember that communication is a 2 way process. While you want to tell your child your plans for him/ her, you also need to listen to his/ her opinions. Teenagers are children growing up, with their own ideas. They also have their own likes and dislikes.

I know a mother who insisted that her son study engineering when he liked the arts. In the end, her son gave in to her request, but failed the course. It has caused the family a lot of unnecessary sadness and hardship.

I hope that you will be transparent and flexible as well as negotiable as you discuss with your child. When we share with our children our hopes, our  dreams and our sacrifices for them, they will know that we love them. These moments will bind our family together like nothing else will. Children who know that they are loved by their parents will grow up to be loving and secure people.