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Counselling Teenagers
Most parents learn parenting simply by doing it. Do you find yourself wondering whether you are doing the right thing for your child? Take heart. You are not alone.
I have watched my 3 children grow up and have counselled countless parents. I would like to offer some suggestions that will perhaps help you communicate with your teenager.
Cline and Fay (1992) offered an approach called "parenting with love and logic". "Love" does not mean hovering around your teens to protect them from all the rocks flung at them by the world. Neither does "love" mean tolerating outlandish, disrespectful or illegal behaviour. Rather, love means empowering teens to make their own decisions, to live with their own mistakes, and to grow through the consequences.
"Logic" centres on the consequences themselves. Most decisions and mistakes led to logical consequences. And those consequences, when accompanied by empathy and compassion for the disappointment, frustration and pain that teens experience - will drive home lessons powerfully enough to change a teen's thinking for a lifetime.
Letting children take consequences will help them to be more responsible towards making good decisions. When they make decisions to go to college, they will make good and responsible decisions.
If you have been parenting with "love and logic", it will be natural and easy to communicate your plan for your children's future. However, you must remember to empower your teens and honour their decisions.
There are a few questions that you can discuss together (not just once, but many times). I suggest that you begin to often talk to your teens regarding the following.
- What would you like to do when you grow up?
- Would you do them well?
- Where would you study to prepare yourself?
- How can we help you?
You do not need to wait until your children are 17 years old before you begin to talk to them about their future. Begin to talk to them when they are little. Put them on your lap (when they are 3 or 4 years old) and talk to them lovingly. Tell them that you believe in them and that they will contribute to this world in the days to come. Then let them tell you their dreams.
These discussions should continue as your children are growing up. However, your discussions must not take the following form. For example, these are the types of parents that you should not be.
- Helicopter parents - who will hover, rescue and protect their children no matter what. These parents will communicate that their children do not need to take consequences because their parents are always there to rescue them. Children from these families will not take responsibility for their future as well.
- Drill sergeant parents - who will bark out orders and expect their children to submit to them. These parents will communicate with their children that they never have to think for themselves and take responsibility for decisions made.
Good parenting should mean that you would take on the role of a consultant, giving advice and counsel to help your children make good and responsible decisions. You should not make decisions for them or protect them from taking responsibility for their decisions.
As a consultant, listen to your children and advise them how to maximize their potential through working on their strengths.
Career Opportunities
There many different career types that your students can fit in.
Team Technology, an online business resource, listed many career types and give personality tests to help your students check their match with the job.
Today's job markets require students to be productive and well trained to provide excellent service at their stations.
Consider the following descriptions of some real time jobs that are advertised:
- Architectural Drafter - Able to operate computer-aided design and drafting (CADD) equipment or conventional drafting station to produce designs, working drawings, charts, forms and records. Analyze building codes, by - laws, space and site requirements, and other technical documents and reports to determine their effect on architectural designs.
- Sales and Marketing Personel - Ability to close opportunities, drive solutions and advance sales growth. Have outstanding interpersonal skills, strategic and tactical planning expertise.
- Administrative Service Manager - Direct or coordinate the supportive service department of a business, agency, or organization. Prepare and review operational reports and schedules to ensure accuracy and efficiency. Set goals and deadlines for the department. Acquire, distribute and store supplies. Analyze internal processes and recommend and implement procedural or policy changes to improve operations such as supply changes or the disposal of records.
- Culinary Arts Hospitality Management Professional - Able to manage sales and retail, customer service, excellent communication skill, strong attention to detail. Knowledgeable on all aspects of restaurant management including menu planning and pre-costing, FIFO, and JIT inventory systems, marketing and sales goal planning, staff training and team building.
The job descriptions listed above are just examples that your students can research and look for courses that will prepare them for the above jobs.
Exercises like these will become good discussion points among your students.
Students can also research the availability of similar jobs and their areas of interest, as well as universities that will offer the training that they are keen to study in.
Helping Your Students
We teachers have a few important tasks we love to perform.
We love to help our students do well in their studies so that they have a bright future and we love to talk about their successes.
How do we help our students do well?
I think we have three important assignments to work with our students in order to help them:
- Help them to understand their strengths in order to choose a suitable career in the job market
- Help them to understand the options offered by universities around the world
- Help them to acquire skills in order to be accepted by the university of their choice
I hope you will take some time to go through the following activities with your senior high school students:
- Let them list out their strengths.
- Explain their strengths by giving examples of the things they like to do.
- Explain their strengths by giving examples of the things they do well.
- Ask their classmates to add to the list through their observations.
- Identify positions in the job market that matches the respective strengths of your students.
- Search for 2 courses in 10 universities that will prepare your students for the jobs that they choose.
- Narrow down the courses to 3 universities based upon their budget.
- Discuss the reasons for their choices.
- Discuss the entrance requirements of these universities.
- Set goals with your students in order to qualify for these courses in the universities.
You may need to take a few lessons to go through the assignments and discussions listed above. The net result will be your students becoming clearer about their goals. They will also be motivated to study hard to qualify for entrance to the universities of their choice.
